Got my friend’s wife pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 42 and I am married to an American woman, but the marriage had been rocky for nearly two years.

She curses me like a dog, but is always demanding more money than what I can afford. Three months ago, she told me that she wanted to move and I cannot go with her because she is going to be living in a better area. She said I would not want to give her the rent money, then she added that she is seeing another man.

I talked to a Jamaican friend and he told me that I could stay with him until I was able to sort myself out. He is married but he and his wife do not have children; they also have an extra room. His wife is Jamaican, so she agreed that I should come. Everything was going well, but this man does mostly night duties and it was this woman and I at the house.

To cut a long story short, we got involved. It was carelessness on my part, and this woman was always admiring me. She began by telling me that my front looks 'nuff'. When she told me that the first time I laughed, and she told me that she would really like to see what I have. I found myself not being able to resist her. I went to bed with her. I did not use protection because she said the doctor told her that she could never get pregnant.

I am in big trouble now because she is pregnant, and she knows for sure that it was not by her husband. She asked me what I am going to do and I told her I am going to get out of the house. She is glad to be pregnant, but this is not the way it ought to be. She is planning to tell her husband that we had sex. We had sex about three times. I told her that I would try to explain to her husband how it happened. I am really worried; I do not know what to do.

I have been thinking of leaving the state where we are living. This man's wife told me that she is going to beg her husband to accept the child as his and nobody would know. But I am still worried. Please give me your advice.

M.P.

Dear M.P.,

This did not have to happen. Your Jamaican friend was trying to assist you, so he offered you shelter and you took over his wife.

There is nothing that you could tell me to justify what you have done. His wife is not a good woman, either. Your letter reminds me of a man who told me that he went to spend some time with his friend and his wife, and the gentleman trusted him. He said while he was there, his friend's wife approached him and asked him to have sex with her. He told her that he could not do so, but she demanded it. When he resisted her, she said, "Well, when my husband comes, I am going to tell him that you tried to have sex with me, so you better do it." He had nowhere to go, so he consented to have sex with this woman. She came to him again, and he made love to her again. Then he said, "Listen, this cannot go on." He finally he found a place to live.

So, there are women who entice men to have sex with them, like this woman did to you. Another man told me that a woman asked him to have sex with her and when he said no, she demanded it and pulled a handgun on him. When he saw the gun, he had sexual intercourse with her. I asked him how he had an erection if she had a gun on him, and he said he did.

Back to you, sir. This woman and you will have to decide when you will tell your friend that you got her pregnant. Both of you have betrayed the man's trust. You should be out of his house by now. I don't see how you can inform this man of the cruel thing that you have done in person. Perhaps his wife should tell him of her crime, and then inform you what he said. A telephone call to him from you would be necessary to thank him for the time that he has allowed you to stay at his house. You need to tell him on the phone that you regret getting involved with his wife. It is a very difficult matter to handle, but I do not have the answer of how you should go about it.

Pastor