Fiancé’s cheating ex wants him back

Dear Pastor,

How are you doing? I hope you are fine. I am writing to you about my partner of the last three years.

When I met this man, he could not have been better. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I thought that I should just cool out until I found another man. I was not in a hurry. It so happened that I went to do a little shopping at a supermarket and I saw this man. We greeted each other and he assisted me in taking the groceries from my trolley to my car. Before he left, he asked me if I was single and I said yes. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. That is how our relationship started.

For two weeks, he called me every day. He wanted to meet my little girl, so one day she and I went to the park and she met him. We sat on the bench and talked while my little girl was having fun on just about everything in the park. I told him that my partner and I broke up, but he was not her father. She is from a previous relationship. I told him I was not lucky with men. He told me that was because I had not met the right one. I asked him how would I find out who was the right man; he said I might be talking to him and we laughed about it.

We both have good jobs. But there are times that I could do with a man. I am sure you know what I mean. After six months of friendship, this man asked me to move in with him and save myself from paying rent. After talking to my very close girlfriend and my two sisters, they encouraged me to go for it and save some money. I should tell you that this man was divorced. He said his wife cheated on him with his best friend, who was her boss. He got her pregnant but she aborted the pregnancy.

This man is now asking me to marry him and he wants to adopt my daughter. Her father does not support her. I called my daughter's father and told him that I am about to be married and my fiance would like to adopt the child. He said that he is not for that. I don't know what to do. In the meantime, my fiance is also telling me that his ex-wife told him that she cannot get over him and she would like for them to get back together. This whole thing about my love life is a mess. I know for sure that I love this man, so please give me your advice.

D.M.

Dear D.M.,

I would suggest that you seek the help of a lawyer. Your child's father is a deadbeat, but he does not want to lose his daughter to another man. So you should check this one out with an attorney.

Your fiance has got over the relationship with his ex-wife, so it is his desire to tie the knot with you. However, his ex is now begging him not to leave. She regrets what happened between her and another man. That is bothering you because you would love to see him be totally out of her life. You may want to discuss that with your attorney also. I wish both of you well.

Please let me know what decisions you have made concerning the adoption and your new relationship.

Pastor