My wife wants to charge me for sex

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. My wife and I are always arguing about money. I am the only one working. She has not been able to hold a job for about two years. She does not know how to talk to people. Every job she gets, it is only for a short period and customers complain that she is rude to them.

Our rent is expensive, and we have two children. They are boys and they eat a lot. My wife also cannot control her appetite; she eats a lot. Every Friday, she expects me to bring home chicken. I don’t even have to mention the type of chicken. She hardly cooks. Sometimes when I tell her that I don’t have any money to buy her favourite chicken and to do the things she wants me to do, she asks me if I am trying to tell her that she should sell herself to get money. I don’t expect her to tell me that. I told her that, if she had that in mind, she shouldn’t tell me that.

My wife is not dunce; she can do something even at home to earn some money. It is not easy for me to pay the rent, buy groceries, pay for utilities, etc. while my wife stays at home and gets fatter and fatter every day. She has friends, who are not as smart as her, doing online jobs. Recently, I wanted to have a little enjoyment from this woman and she pulled away. I tried three times and she did the same thing. So, I asked her whether she was seeing her period and she said no, but she has decided that she will charge me for pleasure. I could not believe what I was hearing. I told her that I was not aware that I was in bed with a prostitute. I also told her that I have never gone to a prostitute.

I have never been late with the rent. I take the children to school. I give my wife enough money to buy groceries, but I have cut out buying fast food every week, so this woman believes that she can punish me by not giving me sex. It is not difficult for me to find a side-chick, but I stay in my yard because I don’t want to stretch my money by paying another woman for sex while I am sleeping with my wife.

My wife went on with that foolishness, that one night, I had to get vex and burst up her underwear and raise my voice on her, and she told me to quiet down because the neighbours would hear. Why should I pay my wife to have sex with me? Is that normal?

A

Dear A.,

Perhaps you and your wife need to make an appointment to see a family counsellor. These are tough days and every woman should try to do her part in the family to earn enough money to pay bills and to take care of her children.

Some time ago, I was surprised when a woman wrote me and told me that she had started to charge her husband for sex. Anytime he wanted to make love to her, she told me how much he would pay. To keep their relationship going and to live in peace with her, the man paid her the money she demanded.

Such a relationship is not good. How can a woman not consider herself a prostitute if her husband has to pay her for sex? But that has been going on for a long while.

Before I became a counsellor, a businesswoman told me that, whenever she was annoyed with her husband, she tried to punish him by withholding sex from him. However, he didn’t allow her to continue the practice. He tore her underwear and had his way, and the next day he was quite willing to give her some money to go and purchase new underwear. She was not charging him for sex, but your wife is charging you.

I am sorry for you. If you agree to pay her, she will raise the price on you without notice.

There are indeed jobs that are available online. Therefore, if your wife truly wants to work, she should be able to find a job. Make an appointment to talk to a counsellor.

Pastor